Jeff Bezos was ten years old, traveling in a car with his grandmother and grandfather.
His grandma was a chain-smoker. Sitting in the back seat, the cigarette smoke started to bother young Bezos.
He was good with numbers even back then. So he made a quick calculation in his head.
“Grandma,” he said, “if every cigarette took three minutes off your life, and you smoke three packs a day… you’ve taken nine years off your life.”
The stark reality of what he said hit his grandmother hard. She started to cry out of control.
She of course knew that cigarettes were not good for her and most probably killing her slowly. The problem was, she just couldn't quit.
To hear the verdict so harshly from her grandson devastated her.
His grandpa pulled the car to the curb. He got out and gestured Jeff to follow him for a private talk beyond grandma’s hearing range.
This is what he told his grandson:
“Jeffrey, it’s so much easier to be clever than it is to be kind.”
Jeff was stunned. They returned to the car and continued on their way.
“I have never forgotten that moment,” Bezos told William Shatner from whose biography this anecdote is paraphrased. (Boldly Go: Reflections on a Life of Awe and Wonder)
“It’s a lesson that continues to resonate with Jeff,” wrote Shatner. “He will freely admit that he doesn’t always get every decision right, but his heart is in the right place.”
I have written earlier on the pitfalls of being “brutally honest” rather than compassionate and considerate.
Being smart is good. It certainly helps to survive and excel in life.
But to be also kind is even better.
Smart people, if they are not also kind, end up correct but unhappy.
Listen to your heart while sharpening your intellect and you’ll be both correct and happy.
The choice is yours.
(Image in Public Domain. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jeff_Bezos_visits_LAAFB_SMC_(3908618)_(cropped).jpeg)
Ugur, Thank you for this message on kindness. I found it very powerful. D